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A film that would explore all the possibilities - that is, as we defined “possibilities” 20 years ago.
#SHORTBUS GAY SEX SCENE MOVIE#
They were about to undertake a movie project that was close to John’s heart, something that he had been thinking about for a while and was now, on the verge of his 40th birthday, about to make a reality - a sexually explicit, sex-positive comedy-drama about the moment we were in as New Yorkers and as sexual beings. John and one of his producers, Howard Gertler, had approached me with an idea. BOUNDARIES.”Ī few weeks earlier, I had found myself sitting in a quiet, mostly empty restaurant across from John Cameron Mitchell. In my notebook, I write, “ This is going to be complicated. “Your turn next time,” he says, and leaves the men’s room. He zips up, looks at me, and finger-guns my crotch with a wink. “Now that,” he says, “is much too personal a question.” “Because if I do this, I am clearly getting fired.” Definitely away from my current situation,” he says. “Where do you think that journey will take you if you get cast?” I ask. And because of him, I think this is going to be an amazing journey for everyone who gets to take it.” I believe in him and the way he talks about this. “I love being interviewed while I’m tugging my cock.” (Which is what he has now moved on to doing, I should note.) “Why do I want to do this? John. “You can ask me whatever you want!” he says. “Can I ask you why you want to do this?” I say. “I feel bad that we’re in a competition, but I guess we are.” “It’s so exciting meeting all these people,” he says. Earlier, one prospective cast member I met on the dance floor assumed I was an auditionee, eyeballing me and then remarking, only slightly woundingly, “It’s so great that they’re looking at, you know, all different types!” But with my glasses, my notebook, and what one ex described as “the face of someone who looks like he chose ‘Designated Driver’ on grade-school Career Day,” I am more likely to be mistaken for an undercover cop than for an actor.Īlex (not his real name - after nearly 20 years, I’ll grant the actors who were not eventually cast a measure of privacy) has started to pee. Word was out: There is going to be real sex in this movie, and a lot of it.
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“I just came in here to take some notes.” I am holding a small black journal and a pen, and by this point, after a couple of hours of milling around and chatting with two dozen young actors, their friends, and the core creative team of the movie that will become John Cameron Mitchell’s one-of-a-kind groundbreaker Shortbus, I have become so used to feeling absurd that I am well past the embarrassment of being seen taking notes while hanging out in a public bathroom. He looks over at me, inclining his head toward the next urinal.
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“The whole package, not just the package,” he says, sauntering over to a urinal. “No, no,” I say quickly, “it’s great! I mean, I can’t imagine it will hurt your chances! I just think John is looking for more of an overall thing, kind of looking at your personality, who you are, what your vibe is.” His dejection in that moment makes him look older and more tired than his age (mid-20s). “I don’t think that … it’s not really my sense that that’s what they’re looking for.” “Um,” I venture, trying to keep my gaze at eye level. I choose the wrong words - or the right words, but in the wrong way. Both his smile and his dick are big, but they also both look somehow expectant in a way that suggests each could get a lot bigger or a lot smaller very quickly depending on the next words I choose. I am a gay man in my 30s in New York City, so this is not an entirely unfamiliar situation. “I wanted to get a moment alone with you.” Smiling, he walks up to me, drops his pants, and takes out his penis. I am standing alone in the men’s room of a West Village club, collecting my thoughts, when a good-looking guy comes in.